Sanity Check: Staging Houses

Stage set for a tough audience

By Sharon Short

When selling your house, it is not enough to price it right, keep it in good repair, clean it, and hire a Realtor. No, these days, you must do something called “staging,” particularly if you’re planning on having an open house.

At least that’s what I was told by Internet tips-for-home-seller sites, countless HGTV shows, and several friends keen on interior design, including one who is taking classes in that subject and who assures me that “staging” is indeed a class topic.

My idea of interior design has heretofore been artfully arranging—nay, layering—my kids’ creations on the fridge with Very Cute (and Sometimes Informative, If From Pizza Place On Corner) Magnets. Still, I decided in a hopeful moment to heed everyone’s staging advice.

Step one in house “staging” is to remove all the Very Cute Magnets—and all the layers of kiddy art underneath.

The driving philosophy behind “staging” is that you want to create the following fantasy for prospective homebuyers:

This house could be your house. It has never actually been lived in by real people. This is why there are no personal photos or mementos or awards or diplomas on display... so you can imagine yourself in this house...

If you live in this house, you will never have dirty laundry or dishes. Your spouse will never spill his/her morning coffee on the white-carpeted steps... then leave for work without noticing. Your children will each only have three toys, which will be neatly displayed on dust-free shelving units and/or upon beds, which your children will neatly make up without argument.

Your pets will never mess.

Your plants will never droop. In fact, fresh bouquets will spontaneously grace your candlelit dining table.

Your bathroom will be as a spa, and your bed turned back for your comfort and rest, with white sheets free of lint and pet hair.

Of course, anyone creating this staging is laughing hysterically the whole time, knowing no one lives like this, really.

And yet... for our open house, I indulged in... staging.

Which meant putting away all personal photos, mementos, etc., buying fresh flowers, turning back beds with brand new white sheets, rolling up brand new white terry cloth towels for display on the bathroom counter... all of which required so much energy that I skipped showers, fed my family at the drive-thru too often, and yelled at the dog more than once.

But our ‘staged’ house looked great for our open house.

We let our Realtor in and ourselves out and went to someone else’s open house... which was also ‘staged.’

Ahhh... I thought. I can just imagine myself here. If I live in this house, my kids will make their beds without fuss, the dog will be perfectly neat, my plants won’t droop, I’ll always have fresh bouquets, and a fresh mint will appear magically on my pillow, nightly...

Did I hear an echo of the homeowner’s hysterical laughter?

Perhaps. But by then, I was too weary from my own staging to worry about it. I breathed the fragrance of the fresh bouquet and thought... ah... home sweet stage!